We went to see The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl 3-D this afternoon. It was not great for me but my daughter really enjoyed herself. The 3-D thing looked cool at first but by the end it was giving me something of a headache.

She is fine, we caught it very early and the antibiotics should essentially cure it, but it still sucks.

I noticed the first symptoms over the weekend, when she spiked a high fever and got very lethargic, didn't want to play or do anything, and slept an awful lot.

After awhile she started complaining of being achy. Finally, a couple of days ago I found the "bullseye" rash that is so indicitive of a deer tick bite and Lyme disease. It's in her armpit, which is why I probably missed it for awhile.

After this I am going to make a habit of looking in her armpits every single night for ticks. And putting on insect repellant, and dressing her in long sleeves and long pants when she goes out on the wooded trail behind our house or any other wooded area.

This whole region is just so tick invested, it seems hard to avoid. I know some people whose entire family have had Lyme, right down to the family dog.

I'm just glad my daughter had the type that actually produced a rash. Lyme disease can have devastating permanent consequences if it isn't caught early enough.

So, she still has a fever and still feels kinda yucky and still has a huge rash in her armpit but she should start feeling much better soon.

Wow, is it hot or what?

Mostly, I hate summer. I hate the weather, the sun, the heat, the humidity, the motherfucking BUGS, the parades, almost everything about it. It is no surprise to me that across history plagues always flourish most in the summer. Things rot faster, things reek so much more, bees sting, roaches are happy, the city streets become cesspools, the reek from the river makes me want to gag. Not fun times for me.

This morning when I clicked around I saw a bunch of really enthusiastic reviews from fandom friends and decided I wanted to see it sooner rather than later.

As soon as husband got home grabbed 'im and daughter and went to the theater. It was packed, I think they sold out eventually, but we got our tickets without any trouble. We ended up in the third row from the front but since this was stadium the third row was fairly far back so this wasn't as uncomfortable as it could have been.

LOVED the movie. It rocked. I could probably come up with a few quibbles but as a whole it was so enjoyable I don't even feel like delving into the quibbles right now.
Looking at the entire series I think the whole thing is quite an accomplishment and a very beautful story. I've always been a sucker for a good redemption. Especially a redemption that takes places after a character has gone just about as bad as a character can go.

Anyway, yeah, it was good. I'll probably go see it again when it hits the second run theater and will definitely want to purchase the DVD.

Oh, and also, the promo for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was very exciting and if the movie is anything like the promo the movie will totally rock. Can't wait for, like, December or whatever to see it.

Unfortunately, I had a bit of a panic attack during the first maybe half hour of the movie. It wasn't really the content of the movie, although the sound was way up and being so close put me into sensory overload and I had to cover my ears and close my eyes a little bit until I got used to it. I think it was just a nerve wracking day and between rushing around (we had some problems with the movie place not accepting our card and had to run to the bank ATM and back again) and just the crowds I was overwhelmed.

After a bit I was able to settle down, especially once I really got into the movie.

I have had a hard time being in public lately. I know it's fucked up but I just feel gross and like I shouldn't be subjecting people to me or something. I feel guilty all the time just being out and always feel like everyone is looking at me, laughing at me.

My husand said with an attitude like that I better take care not to become a total agoraphobic. I said duh, I have been heading down that road little by little for a long time. The thing is, I go crazy if I am in the house too long so I doubt it'll ever happen, I just might have to deal with the ever increasing anxiety when I do go out to certain places.

I am reading a good book right now called "As Meat Loves Salt". If you are into, well, I guess I would call it homoerotic historical fiction I would very highly recommend it.

I should get to bed. My daughter has an early doctor's appointement in the morning.

All three of us enjoyed the movie. I am sure reading the book will add tons of demension to what we saw on screen.

We went to this new movie theater that just opened up and I love it. First of all it is about half an hour closer to home than the next closest one, and secondly it has staduim seating which means the seats are big and cushy and lean back and you can sit all up high and stuff.

There really isn't anything to say about the movie besides it was pretty good. It was entertaining while we were there but not the type of movie to spark lots of discussion or cause me to think about it a lot after the lights came back up.

I am looking forward to the new Star Wars. I know it will probably suck but I don't really care. Actually, I will probably enjoy it for what it is. Everyone I know hated episodes one and two but I thought they were fine. No, they didn't blow me away or anything but I went into them with no expectations so didn't feel that huge sense of disappointment that a lot of people did.

I will always love the original trilogy best.

This MTV2 show is cracktastic!

I know I should find the whole thing terribly offensive and I probably shouldnt find humor in some of the sick shit on the show but I cant help it. It reminds me of the guilty pleasure I derived from South Park when it first came on.

It is one of those shows I dont necessarily seek out but I cant seem to turn off if I happen to land on it while channel surfing.

Happy with results. Room looks slightly bigger. Furniture still old, ugly and dumpy but now old, ugly and dumpty from other side of room

It was on the small side of average, but still, a fully functional penis.

This isnt to say I dreamed I was a man, because I didnt. I was still me, just a me that came equipped with a penis.

I have no idea if all my girlie parts were gone in favor of this penis or if it was a case of an uncontrollably growing clit cause all I really remember is looking down and seeing this penis jutting up from between my thighs.

It was on the small side of average, but still, a fully functional penis.

This isnt to say I dreamed I was a man, because I didnt. I was still me, just a me that came equipped with a penis.

I have no idea if all my girlie parts were gone in favor of this penis or if it was a case of an uncontrollably growing clit cause all I really remember is looking down and seeing this penis jutting up from between my thighs.

I have had to get out my magnifying glass and mold myself into a Sherlock Holmes esque super sleuth but I think I have finally untangled the knot and solved the mystery.

It all started a few nights ago. During the day, the temp rose to a very uncomfortable 86 degrees. That night before bed I was frightfully hot. I opened both bedroom windows wide as they go and propped a box fan into one of them in an attempt to pull in some cooling outside air.

My cat loves to spend time in the windows, especially if they are open. That night was no different. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and fell asleep was Sunshine (the cat) in the window, staring at the outside world.

I woke up early the next morning, before anyone else in the house. I rose and did my usual morning stuff, and while my sleep hazed brain dimly registered that it was strange the cat wasnt around (she ALWAYS enthusiastically greets us in the morning) I did not think much of it.

Later, when I went back to my room to wake up my daughter and husband, I noticed the fan was still on and it had cooled off majorly overnight so I reached into the window to turn off the fan.

That is when I noticed the window screen was gone, and my stomach dropped and in that moment I just knew the cat was gone too. I quickly and quietly searched the house, not wanting to alarm anyone for no reason, but I knew I wouldnt find her indoors and I didnt.

She was gone. At first I assumed she had somehow pushed the screen out and escaped into the great wide open. This cat has always been a house cat. When I was growing up we had indoor outdoor cats and I never worried about them being outside but this cat is diffent. This neighborhood has a lot of dogs and strange characters and she is just so not street smart. I didnt know what would become of her or if she would ever come back home.

We all got dressed and headed outdoors to look for her. Not only could we not find the cat (and no amount of shouting for her brought her home) but we couldnt find the screen either. I had absoloutely expected it to be on the ground right under the window.

We looked all over the place for the cat and/or the screen. I was getting irritated. Not only was the cat gone but now we would have to buy a new screen! And if we had to get a new cat we would have to pay for another series of vaccinations and spay or neuter. No, seriously, we were very worried about her.

Then another thought popped into my paranoid mind...perhaps someone had tried to break in while I was slumbering all unawares in my bed during the night! Perhaps they pried out the screen and then TOOK it! And maybe the took the cat too!

Maybe they were those evil people who scoop up neighborhood pets for lab experiements or to sell to Chinese restarants!
Maybe my cat had valiently defended our home and shredded the intruders hands and lost her life in the process!

All sorts of scenarios flittered through my mind, each one less likely and more scary than the last.

We were all worried sick for about twelve hours. Then we heard a little squeaky meow at the front door! The cat was back, and no worse for wear! Yay! Yippee! We were so happy. Sunshine was lavished with love and then life pretty much got back to normal.

UNTIL night fell. I started thinking about that missing screen and getting creeped out. I decided the only rational soloution was to lock this place up tighter than Fort Knox.

Every window, door or opening of any sort was double and triple locked. If I could have rigged up an alarm system I would have. I was determiend the screen theif wasnt going to catch my off my guard ever again.

At some point I started thinking about all that had happened, really thinking instead of just reacting emotionally.

The old cogs in my brain dont get used much anymore and are somewhat rusty, but slowly, very slowly, some memories starting flitting to the surface. Ten long minuntes of intense concentration later and I had solved the mysery of the escaping cat and the missing screen all in one fell swoop.

See, the window the cat got out is the window the air condition lives in during the warmer months. And my husband removed the A/C this winter but he never did put that pesky screen back in.

That screen was never in the window, not even when I first opened it. It was night then, and I was all hot and miserable and whining and didnt even notice it. The cat must have sat in the window with no screen for some time before realizing she could actually get out it.

I walked to my bedroom and peered behind my headboard and what did I find? The missing screen. Seems DH stashed it there those many months ago and never moved it.

So, yeah. It was pretty much my mistake all along. There was no screen theif and the cat didnt actually break out all on her own. But at least I did finally figure it all out!

This really surprised me. At least the Miami part. I simply cannot even imagine myself living in Miami, with my aversion to sun and heat and humidity and bugs I think I would never leave the house and be absoloutely miserable.

Philidelphia, on the other hand, might work, from what I have seen of it. Although I think Pittsburgh would be even closer to ideal. If I ever was to live in a city. Hell, I have very rarely even been to a city, let alone lived in one.
Of the major cities I have visited my favorite was Toronto, then Boston.

My daughter and I were watching a Hello Kitty video. Two of the characters were discussing what the boys of their dreams would be like. My daughter looked at me and said that she knew I had not met the boy of my dreams yet.

I know that no matter how careful parents are not to expose their child to their somewhat rocky relationship children pick up on everything. Her statement just underscored that for me.

The truth is I really have not met the boy of my dreams yet, and I am pretty sure I never well and that such a person does not exist anyway.

Speaking of husbands, today mine decided to pop his steel toed workboots in the oven at 400 degrees to dry them out. Maybe I am crazy but I thought this was a really screwed up acting. It filled the house with disgusting smelling fumes and I was sure the rubber soles would melt at that temperature but they didnt, I guess because he didnt leave them in the oven long enough.

He said he couldnt put them on the deck in the sun because he was afraid they might get stolen. Someone would truly have to be on all kinds of drugs or flat out insane to steal these years old, ugly, smelly, stained, completely beat up boots.

Sometimes I wonder about him.

The good thing was that I was able to get going earlier and get my daughter up slightly earlier so the pre school thing wasnt so rushed.

I also was able to do some picking up and I ended up getting almost all the chores I wanted to get done for the entire day completed by about half past eight. Now I can go take a hopefully nice long nap without any guilt.

I was pretty sure they would have to turn up somewhere, but after the debacle around Christmas where we apparently completely lost almost all our Christmas decorations I was really starting to wonder.

The other day I was frantically searching for some old W2s for my husbands job when I stumbled across the box with everything in it.

I was so relieved! Immediately I sat down and went through all the albums and photos and they brought back so many memories. I have albums of my childhood as well as my daughters baby and toddler hood.

Currently I have a shoebox containing massive amounts of loose pictures. I told my husband what I would really love for Mothers Day is just some empty photo albums so I can get everything sorted out and into a little bit nicer display than just an old shoebox.

I look at the pictures of her when she was a little baby and I just ache. I love having a school aged child but so miss having a baby. I always thought I would have another one by now. I am trying really hard to get to a place where I feel happy to have an only child.

Most days I am fine with it. I cannot say I am exactly fulfillied but I am getting to a place of acceptance. I cannot help but feel grateful every single day for what I do have. Sometimes it is a little bit hard though.

My mind always seems to go back to a conversation I had with my husband when my daughter was an infant. I remember reading an article about secondary infertility and telling him how afraid I was that would happen to me and him assuring me that it wouldnt. Well, guess what? I guess life is just ironic like that sometimes.

I really want to be one of those people who is easy going and can just roll with the punches. Instead, I tend to get super anxious about every little thing and attempt to control aspects of my life that I just can never have any control over. I guess I have to learn to let go a little bit.

In the first, I gave birth to a snake. It was a little snake and had no teeth yet but still, a snake.

At first my husband in the dream (not my current husband IIRC) and I thought this was perfectly normal. I even nursed the snake. I wondered why my *baby* had a mouth that was almost too small for my nipple to fit inside it. I am totally skeeved out by the persistant image in my brain of that snake opening its mouth wide and clamping down hard on my nipple. Even without teeth, it is a disturbing image!

I had milk too. I remember feeling a let down and seeing milk squirting into its mouth.

Eventually, I realized that it wasnt normal to have birthed a snake, and went to my husband with my concerns. We talked about it and agreed the think must have come out of a pimple on my head (?!?!?!) and that I was actually still pregnant with the (hopefully human) baby.

Then the dream changed. My real life husband and daughter were with me in the dream. We lived in a different house than we do now though. In the dream, it was nighttime and we were just hanging out when I started hearing a scraping at the window.

I kept shrugging it off and telling myself it was nothing but this tiny scraping soon started getting louder and louder and I started getting really scared.

I checked the phone and discovered it wasnt working. The power went out in the house. I became convinced someone had cut the phone and power lines. The scraping got really loud and a man actually broke in!

I freaked out and ran to the closet with my daughter and husband. We barricaded ourselves in as well as we could but the man was right outside the door and he was strong.

He pushed the door open a few inches and got his arm through, and he was grabbing for me. His hand was only like a fraction of an inch from reaching me. I was screaming and looking for something to stab his arm with.

I found a cell phone in a pocket of a coat in the closet and tried to dial 911 but kept fumbling it because I was so paniced. Finally I got it and was screaming into the phone that this guy was going to kill us.

Suddenly in the closet I found a gun. It wasnt just a normal gun, it was a huge automatic, like a machine gun. I decided to stop trying to hold the door closed and let the guy in and shoot him.

I did, but the gun was SO powerful it knocked me back into the wall and stunned me. My shots had all gone wild and hadnt hit the guy. I managed to aim right and the thing just rapid fired into him and his body parts went flying everywhere.

Then I woke up. I was really scared when I woke up, just lying frozen in the dark. Only a minute or two after that my daughter came running into my room telling me she was scared. I wonder if she had a nightmare too? Usually I bring her back to her room and get her settled back in but last night I was scared too so I made room for her in between my husband and I in bed. I just felt safer that way, I guess.

I am ready for some nice, silly, happy dreams now.